I write this in humility and love.

The Black family is ethereal. The building block by which all of creation stems. Our community thrives on trust and on an undefined spiritual connection that asks of and endows all of its members. We adhere to this and in turn are covered, but we also fail miserably. I’m sure that many of my Black readers are a part of a divided family. Parents divorced, siblings that don’t speak, relationships failed. A pact broken. We are a shell of who we used to be and an inkling of what we could be. Black Women and Men consistently at odds. We experience separation, abandonment, broken dreams and often are torn down by the very ones whom we’ve entrusted to build us up. This makes believing in the Black Family especially difficult, when positive images of us are more readily available at the movies then at the dinner table.

The never ending contention between Black Men and Women with fighting for respect and with who suffers more is a poisonous supplement that we are spoon fed at birth. I know no faster and more efficient path to destruction than to divide, conquer, and train those victims to repeat the process.

Black Men, our charge is to listen to Black Women and defend them, with our money, with our bodies, and with our minds. Historically, the psychological and physical attacks on us have not only distracted us but also left us disoriented. Black Men, we were literally forced at gunpoint to rape our women. We, Black Men, enslaved men, were sexually violated and in turn learned to sexually violate our women. We have grown up normalizing disrespect to Black Women.

We cannot normalize Black Women being discriminated against in the workplace and not be disoriented.

We cannot normalize Black Women being disrespected and not be disoriented.

We cannot normalize ignoring Black Women and their trials with the medical healthcare system and not be disoriented.

We are hunted and funneled into destruction while Black Women are violated and hunted and disrespected from multiple angles. Black Men are oppressed and killed by systematic racism, in turn we medicate our own subjugation by subjugating our women. Black Women are also oppressed by structural racism and then turn to Black Men for support. And too often we have not been that. This abandonment of post has meant that Black Men have violated the unwritten community contract, all the while expecting Black Women to adhere to it.

Black Women continue to grow. I ask you to understand that the current state of Black Men in America is troubled. The very act of ignoring your pain is a symptom of our oppression. In fact, I would even venture to say that indifference to any Black people’s plight is the worst symptom of ptsd. Make no mistake Black Woman. Protect yourself and your peace first. There is no excuse for Black people who fail to rise to the challenge, especially when confronted with their apathy. At the same time, we cannot dwindle our numbers and simultaneously liberate ourselves. All members of the Black community are needed for our conjoined liberation.

All members are needed.

Ethereal is defined as ‘of or relating to the regions beyond the earth’ or ‘marked by unusual delicacy or refinement’. When something is precious it has to be cared for with intention or else elements that have no concern for it will ensure its destruction. The most crucial key to. our liberation is the Black Family.

I have a deep need to understand and a deep need to express myself.